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It's about more than just the miles

This weekend I'll be running the NYRR 5-Borough Series race in the Bronx. It's a 10 mile race, my longest yet and a big milestone on my way towards the 2013 marathon.

As I've written about on my blog in the past, I started running and racing again in 2011 after a 29 year haitus.

I'm a mid-distance guy, I really love the 5k-10k distance. In some ways, I think I'm insane for having started down a long training path towards 26.2 miles. In some ways, I think that is exactly what is keeping me sane.

When my mom died in March, thinking of running the marathon as a fundraiser for the Alzheimer's Association helped me to start working through the grief. Every run was a way of taking time to think about her.

I could have run the marathon this year with the Alzheimer's Association's "Team Run to Remember", but since I did not get into the race via the lottery in order to do so I would have had to commit to raise over $3,000. That felt like a huge strain on my already strained brain; I could not handle yet another job. Also, it felt dishonest -- like I was just buying my way to the starting line.

The New York Road Runners has another way in, and I was already most of the way to completing the 9 necessary races. This also meant I had to wait an extra year, which seemed like a good thing. I did not want to push myself too far too fast. Now that I'm back at it, I want to keep running for a long long time.

At this point, I've finished the 9 races and 1 volunteer shift and the only thing between me and the 2013 NYC Marathon starting line is 14 months of training.

Since I have my own ticket to the fun for next year's marathon, doing the fundraising for the Alzheimer's Association will also be easier (they ask for a much lower commitment from runners with their own spot) and will feel more like genuine fundraising and not me asking other people to pay my way into the race.

My goal was modified -- this year I'd do a half marathon and see how it went.

Since my mom was born and bred in the Bronx, and my grandfather's store, which I have some great youthful memories of, was only a few blocks from the course of the past few years, I decided to do the NYRR 5 Borough Series Bronx Half Marathon. I thought that race would be the right way to combine my training and my desire to have my running connect me to my mom and the process of grieving. Then the NYRR went and changed the 5 half marathon race series into a series of mixed distance races.

As a result, this fall's race season has two milestones. My first 10 mile race this Sunday and my first half marathon on October 14th in Central Park. The 1/2 marathon is named for Grete Waitz, a woman who was a powerful leader in a male-centric community and who left behind more than she found as a result years of hard work and advocacy. That also feels right when I think of this as a tribute to my mom.

So, here goes -- 10 miles, most of it on the Grand Concourse which was where my mom spent so much of her time from the day she was born until after she got married. I hope to have some friendly ghosts joining me along the race course.